solution.

"I lied to everyone about everything, especially me.
I say im not tired when i am, I say im hungry when im not, i tell people what they wanna hear, i never say what i am actually feeling.
I let the lies pile up, like bricks on a wall until i cant see out and no one else can see in.
I make a plan to escape, i become someone else, put on a disguise and i climb over the wall and no one reconizes me .
I feel powerful , i can get people to what i want them to do.
But i go to far, I get lost and i don't recognize myself.
Take off the disguise, I give away the power
I give up the control, i retrace my steps, go back to the wall and i take it down brick by brick.
I bury them to mark the place.
I strip away all the lies, until there are none left.
I remember the girl i left behind. I claim the confidence i was missing.
I envision the women i want to be, tell everyone the truth about everything, especially you."


I absolutely love this monologue. it's so breath taking to me- because I can relate to it in so many different ways. As I was saying in my last post, we all have this problem of internalizing our true inner thoughts and emotions. Well I've taken the time to look around and observe all that is going on. How we act and react to people and their actions. What a lie can do both positively- the short term effect, and negatively- the long term effect. If we just stopped and realized the long term effect in all situations, we would save so much grief and unhappiness. Lying to make someone else happy only makes things worse. Procrastination isn't just a thing in the school and work world. It also causes its flaws in day to day life. What if we were to stop tip toeing around the broken glass, and try not to be afraid of shattering even more? Simplicity at its finest, courage for your own future.

If only it were that simple......

problem.

today i learned a valuable lesson. its that we really are never alone. i spoke to 160 teens at a group seminar and it totally opened my eyes. we tend to think that keeping in what hurts the most is what will make others truly happy. we all walk around acting fake, afraid of being alone, but the reality is that we are never alone. there is always a new person waiting to walk into your life. we focus so much on other peoples thoughts, views, feelings about our image that we forget to be who we really are. people think that putting on a front keeps others at ease, but we tend to lose ourselves in it all. sure, we're happy that we have people around us to call friends. but there's a bigger picture. having all of these so called "friends" ends up making us unhappy. it seems like a bitter sweet cycle but in the end you lose yourself.

my beginning.

so today i found a purpose for a blog. i always thought it would be so cool to have this deep meaningful life to write about. something philosophical, that anyone could read and connect to. my best friend recently inspired me with her blog, which happened to be focused on friends. the value of friendships- there meaning,, different types, and what to look for when finding the right match for you. i read this blog of hers and realized what would be better to blog about than our adventures around the world? the ups and downs of becoming an adult at the age of 20.

the beginning.

clever right? =] it should be interesting to see where our lives take us, the people we'll meet and the FRIENDSHIPS we'll form. its a good feeling to know im not alone in a world where friendships are so often ignored. reliability is key, and for whatever the reason the universe felt that my friend and i were meant to cross paths. thats all for now, the beginning is always slow but in this fast paced world where we happen to live, it shouldnt take long to speed up.